more on life; in specific
“love flowers best in openess and freedom.”
-edward abbey, desert solitaire
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“love flowers best in openess and freedom.”
-edward abbey, desert solitaire
lest not all be doom and gloom as i write here, some pics from my current working gig in sequoia national park:
chainsaw training (believe it or not, that’s a small tree).
rock drill training (post-drilling, now splitting).
planning out for a bridge (5’ × 15’) on a frontcountry trail.
taking a break from tearing out bridge project number two (8’ × 25’).
and that is that for now - lots of hiking planned in the future - but my pictures do the land here absolutely no justice. the trees, mountains, sky, and color really should be seen. poetry and literature evoke the land far more than these pictures. care for a gander at how i feel about this place? grab a copy of edward abbey’s ‘desert solitaire’. he says it far more eloquently than i ever could.
now, back to hiking, er, working.
the title to this entry (look up) should be read aloud in a loud, sing-songy voice. better yet, it should be said, on-stage, with about fifty other folks, all quaking in their boots as they’re about to read their words at the podium (in public! gasp!) for the first time ever. all of those you stand with (as well as yourself) should be about 10 or 11 and completely surrounded in red, white, and blue. fireworks (later) are what you’re really looking forward to, but first you’ve got to read your essay (no more than fifty words, kids) to the assembled crowd of nervous (what the heck is my kid going to say!?!?) parents, family, and fellow citizens. don’t quake too much - you’re cute (you’re a kid) and unless you spawn something really outrageous from your mouth, no one will do anything other than clap.
i’m craving a return to that moment. craving it with the brain and political views that i currently hold. outside of the fact that i’d actually say something to the girls i had a crush on back then (or not - still haven’t grown out of that entirely) i’d have a piece or two to spout to those raising me with my civic upbringing in mind.
not that i know what it is i would say (in fifty words or less) or feel that my education was poor - but i was never taught some basic ideas that i now feel are key to life (not to mention democracy). not that i know for certain what i would say, but i have an idea.
i would ask questions.
i would ask hard questions.
i would ask for facts.
i would question how those facts are linked.
i would question assumptions.
i would refuse to accept platitudes and circular logic.
i would continue to ask questions long after eyes were rolled.
i would fight (with words - pacifist that i am) to not be deceived - by anyone or any ‘side’.
and when, inevitably, i would likely disagree with those in power, and began to be called unpatriotic, a traitor, commie, etc. i would simply respond with a saddened stare.
really.
because it might just take a look of complete sadness, of confusion and a yearn to understand - it might just take that look from an eleven year old to jog the brain of an adult. an adult who cannot understand that someone might choose to be patriotic in a different fashion, might choose to not support the status quo, might choose to play their part in a democracy by disagreeing, by agitating.
in the past several years i have continually taken positions in politics and moral values that have placed me at odds with the conservative spectrum of this country. as a result i have been labeled a terrorist, an un-american, a flag-hater, a liberal (gasp! when did that become a dirty word?), a traitor, unsupportive of our troops, and on and on.
with those who have labeled me as such, i disagree. on ideas, and on the labels that i have been given. we disagree, simply. but that does not make me any more or less patriotic, any more or less american than those i disagree with. it definitely does not make me a terrorist, unamerican, or a traitor. nor would i ever deign to call those i disagree with that either.
so far as i understand and am concerned, the constitution calls us to be active and informed citizens - to make choices based on our educated consent - to decide - whatever our ulitimate decision, where we feel our country should go. the constitution (or, considering the time of year, declaration of independence) does not ask me to follow blindly, does not ask me to trust in our elected leaders. frankly, it does a great deal other than that:
Ôø‡We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.—That to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed, —That whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Government, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Safety and HappinessÔø‡
— Declaration of Independence, July 4, 1776
it asks me to be so vigilant as to change the government if necessary. that is definitely not easy to do if i fail to ask questions, to invistigate, to force inquiry.
to be different, to disagree, should simply be that. it should not denote a person to be evil, wrong with absolute impunity, or less a person. to attribute those characteristics to one you disagree with is to fail to show respect for a fellow human being.
and that’s what this all ties back to:
respect.
the fact that in the modern world i live in and witness we lack the ability to give our fellow human beings the respect of being an equal.
that to those we disagree with (or worse yet, got to war with) we denigrate them to the level of sub-human. we force them into a category where we can justify perpetrating evils upon them that we would never do to someone we agree with. we wage a war of image first, then we wage a war against something ‘different’.
the anishinabe indians (and probably many others) refer to those they fight with as their ‘honorable enemy’. can we do that? can we offer up the selflessness required to place our ‘enemy’ on the same level as us? or will we continue to act in a selfish manner, to justify our righteousness and cloak our decisions in an ‘us vs. them’ fashion that leaves no room for a choice (and it is a choice) other than violence?
lest one assume i’m talking about the war in iraq, hold up. i’m talking larger - i’m talking life. ever once solved (with no left-over resentment to boil up again) a disagreement without giving a little? without first trying to see something from another’s viewpoint? whether you end up in agreement or not (likely not) you at least can come then to an understanding.
i’m afraid of the culture that i live in - the aspects of it that do not allow room for mistakes, for error of judgement, for the changing of minds, for the acceptance of ideas different than one’s own. afraid that, as the nation’s attention span shortens more each year, our ability to interact on a human to human level will dissappear (like so many other things) down orwell’s ‘memory hole’.
it’s evolution backwards, a return to screaming and howling monkeys.
it’s disturbing.
it needs to stop.
suggestions?
categorically speaking, we are odd creatures - humans. on the whole of this planet we are the only organism that flouts the natural cycles. we have built our arbitrary measure of time and live by it instead of by the moon, the stars, and the sun. we have chosen to recodify and recontextualize that which already made sense. we went out and damaged our own idiom: “if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.”
at night here in sequoia this is readily apparent to me. i am in the front country, as such i cannot avoid human encounter, but the wild aspects of this park run closer to human habitation than most places. near my tent at the close of day, i get the sense of nature readying herself for the night.
each morning i am woken by a cacophony of noises. barking squirrels and chipmunks chittering back and forth with each other, birds calling out territory or crying for mates, the breaking of underbrush from wandering mule deer or black bear, various insects skittering on (or in) my tent. my alarm is set for six but the animals begin their crescendo an hour earlier, coming to life in a graceful arc that follows the slow mountain sunrise.
nights are the same in reverse as the volume and movement calm to stillness and quiet. even the nocturnal creatures move in silence. in the still of the night, the only noise that i hear is human derived - traffic on generals highway, two miles distant and the main road through the park.
every creature here follows the rise and fall of the sun, the change of the weather in the air, the exchange of action in coolness, rest in heat.
i, an outcast, follow a clock.
weekends are my bastion. the clock finds its way beneath a pile of clothing, meals are moved to times of hunger, fire to times of warmth, and waking and sleeping to the times of the sun. outside of the fact that i am, slowly, catching glimpses of simplicity and beauty all around me, other odd things have begun to happen.
for instance, i hardly yawn at all anymore. it’s not that i’m getting any more sleep than i usually do - but my sleep is sound and adequate to what my body needs. i am at rest when the rest of the world rests and am energized throughout the day. my dreams are vivid, wonderful, and story-telling in nature. if i choose to analyze them - play them out in the context of my life - they are often prophetic in their answers and understandings. most importantly, there is a deeper satisfaction in my soul - a calming influence is in effect, a method to my madness so to speak. questions that don’t ultimately matter go from a gnashing roar to a very, very quiet drone. life’s aspects of import take focus without strain or effort. love, trust, and real communication gain precedence - simpler understandings of time, place, being, things, and people are realized. life begins to make sense, why we’re here doesn’t seem like so large a question and the universe offers up all of its wondrous marvels in exchange only for your contented sigh and thankfulness - especially for that in front of your eyes - the simple scene that fills all of your senses with its perfection.
life made sense long before our attempts to classify and codify it. the universe will continue to function and move - past, present, and future - no matter how we define it or attempt to take ownership of it. perhaps the great chorus of human experience could benefit greatly by remembering this every now and again.
there is, and always has been, magic in the woods, the deserts, the lakes, the rivers, the mountains, the plains, the valleys, the oceans, - in all places still wild. if you haven’t yet felt it, now is the time to start looking. if you haven’t felt it in some time, now is when it is best to remember.
there is magic out there to be witnessed and understood. it is the heartbeat of the land, the soul of the earth. it is mother. it is father. it is creator. it is home.