seasonal disruptive disorder
there’s the in-between of seasonal work, the bouncing around without home, the movement between worlds and i keep learning that i don’t easily do well here.
travelling? not a problem - just give me an end date and the days go by in spontenaity and willful, smiling abandon. starting fresh without a plan but with the beginning elements of a thousand of them? i can wear myself ragged staring at all the possibility.
and homes i have, many of them, but not mine - not the one that i’ve created, the one to return to for healing, for gathering up energy for the next push. that’s the goal to form, the world of my own to build and to return to. to set up and then free the rest for play and the long, slow learning process of letting go that need for a plan just a little bit more.
and that ramble? the thoughts on a return home as i try to rapidly become something other than unemployed and homeless. but i’m here, playing with dream and slowly reconnecting to the ones i love.
so i’ll talk to you soon, by phone, be email, or in person.
i’m pretty sure that i owe you a beer.