I had a goal, once upon a time, to write a letter or postcard each night to a friend or member of the family. Can you guess how many letters I’ve finished so far this year? I’ll give you a hint: if you multiply any number by zero, what do you get?

It’s a matter of both personal fortitude (somewhat lacking) and the brow-beating exhaustion that can be part of the life here. At the end of the day, you have only a set amount of energy to give (a couple of hours or so for me) before sleep comes crashing down upon you, eyes heavy with exhaustion. Setting that time aside for the world outside, for those not part of your present life, takes concerted effort.

In the past, I have been both successful and unsuccessful at providing the effort to stay in touch with the outside world. Each aspect has its rewards and consequences, though they basically boil down to this: concentrating on one world leaves the other to grow more distant. Some relationships bear this distance well, picking up quickly where they left off when they become present again, others do not. I am accustomed to the extremes of each way of life here. I have spent a season entirely here at the South Pole, mentally unavailable to the outside world, as well as having spent a season devoted to a past love eight-thousand miles away, distant to those who knew me here.

This season, all thirteen months of it, I’m striving to find a better balance than the edges of the spectrum. I am striving to stay in touch with the family and friends I have left behind stateside, and also working to grow with the friends that I have here. I don’t feel that there are any easy solutions, just more of the grey of a constantly fluctuating ideal.

So I haven’t yet written any letters…that I will correct soon. In the mean, I’ve written more frequently on this site in the past month than in the past two years. I’ve taken on a role with our Emergency Response teams that pushes my time and person in directions that challenge my skills at decision-making, leadership, trust, and organization. I’ve posted photo albums of the world at the bottom of the planet. I’ve slept and stayed healthy (for a change). I’ve learned a new job and am about to learn another. I’ve driven heavy equipment. I’ve met new friends and bothered (in a good way) old ones. I’ve pondered life some. I’ve toyed with letting love in again. I’ve been largely social and minutely social. I’ve kept balanced and feel that life, overall, is good. No extremes right now, but definitely above average.

So as for those of you who haven’t seen a letter, an email, or a phone call yet or as often as you like, please know that my thoughts are arcing your way and that, as I straighten out this thing I call a life, so to will words and an ear.

All the best of dreams in the mean.