It’s getting cold again, the weather making its inevitable march toward winter. The plumes of steam and smoke from the power plant, equipment, and out-buildings stretch for hundreds of feet in the wind. The air is crystal clear, as if frozen in place. The snow crunches differently, more loudly, more sharply. People are dressing heavier again - skin is covered and clothing for short hops has gone from fall and spring stateside clothing back to our heavy ECW gear. You can feel the wind creeping into the Jamesways, and poorly insulated buildings struggle to stay warm.

It’s -35 F with a -60 F wind chill. That leaves me several months to get used to another 65 degree drop in air temperature.

The moon was up in the sky today and I can’t help but wonder what it will look like in the dark of the winter freeze, if I see it differently than in Minnesota, standing upside-down and all. The sky is powerful here, and I look to it often. We may even see a solar eclipse (partial) next week, or so goes the word of mouth. I’ll be looking into that. My first season here was opened with a 90% totality eclipse - a view of the world quieting for a moment as an entire community paused their breathing, spoke few words, and the sky dimmed.

Cold, yes. But beautiful and serene too.

Posted by noblehobo at 05:56 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

I’ve been speculating, as the summer season progresses, what sort of lessons that my upcoming winter will challenge me with; been dreaming of what might come to pass. What has become apparent to me is that I may be learning to hold back a portion of myself I seldom do not these days.

I live my life on my sleeve, emotionally, situationally, and physically. I keep few secrets (regarding self) and am open to discussing nearly every thing I encounter, am, and nearly every one that I know. There is great joy that I find in pondering over a person, situation, or thing, wondering out loud with others about the core of a thing, it’s purpose or pursuit. I often speak freely of those I care about, those I fall for, those I’ve been with. I hold curiosity and care in my mind when I am critiquing another person - not disdain or ill-will.

Others, however, may not see the world from the same perspective as I.

As we enter into winter, we prepare to spend eight months with sixty-odd (in number and in personality!) fellow folk. We will converse, play, laugh, annoy, anger, disgust, please, disturb, and love each other without escape. Small things misinterpreted may grow and distort over time, rendering friendships in new light, pulling together and pulling apart beneath our months-long night.

I see myself, in the way that I lead my life now, as potentially injuring someone with words not meant to do so. I’m uncertain if that will be the case at all, but am interested to know if I can live my life and thought more internal than currently. If I can back off a touch and hold my curiosity within my head, my journal, or a more limited group of confidants…

At the least, I am interested to know if I can do this and maintain my current level of bouyancy and comfort, or if, in sacrificing external expression and discussion, I find myself more exhausted.

My first summer season in Antarctica tested me in that way, as did my first season as a Conservation Corps crew leader. I’ve had a difficult path since then, and let go (inadvertently) of the lessons I learned several years ago. Whether I can resurrect them or not remains to be seen.

Time and the development of my winter season friendships and relationships with others will tell the story.

Posted by noblehobo at 03:55 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Stepping away from the South Pole for my “involuntary” vacation (also known as Rest and Relaxation) in McMurdo gave me a chance to look at mid-season life with fresh eyes. What I had always known in the past, but had never taken a direct view too, was (and is) the exhaustion that we all face.

I have been told over and over that wintering at the South Pole will tax both my body and mind. That wintering will leave me with a poor short term memory and a difficult time with concentration, problem-solving, and conversation. What I had not seen previously is that the summer season can bring this on as well.

Returning from R n’ R allowed me to see just how exhausted our station population (self-included) becomes over a short season of months. Generally, we miss how dramatic the change is as we are all going through the process of it together. Leaving, even briefly, allowed me to realign myself around others who were not as tired and coming back made it obvious just how beat we all are.

So for myself, I withdrew. I took time to write, to think, to simply rest and to let my mind slow down. I paid for a massage (we have several professional masseuses here who take on clients in addition to their day jobs), found some time for saunas, set up my hammock (no small feat in a 6’ by 8’ room), and let go. I did not write in public very much, and both my exhaustion and our limited satellite time gave me an easy excuse to avoid the phone.

I am not alone in this. When you are away from the continent, you notice it. Friends who are in Antarctica and write on a regular basis slow down, their responses are limited or tardy in arriving. When you are here, it is sanity. There is a limit to how much energy one can expend and maintain a balance. Smart individuals pay attention to it, savor what they can, and work to recover when they need. Those who don’t figure it out decide not to come back, become an individual of extreme emotions (whatever form those take), or at worst, crack completely and leave. The majority of us get a handle on it. A few of us learn it well enough to balance both our lives here and our communication with our family and friends back home.

I’m working on learning to do better with the latter.

As for the exhaustion, my efforts are paying off. I’m beginning to find my way back to a healthy medium - no more defeated look or rings around my eyes.

Posted by noblehobo at 05:19 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Apologies for the lack of communication stateside lately, but we’ve had some issues with the satellite dishes that provide our connection to the outside world. We haven’t lost our connection entirely (far from), just the portions during which I’m awake. With luck, all should be resolved in the next couple of days, at which point I’ll have easier access to phones and my personal email.

Posted by noblehobo at 11:44 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

I had a couple of weekends, early last January, after a move to Chicago, in which to wander around the city, to soak up the myth of the metropolis. They were good moments - the style wrought by newness and curiosity overcoming any negative aspects of life. I walked about, a smile on my face and head turning to see all that I could. Poetically speaking, it was great fodder. Digging through old scraps of paper today, I came across a series of thoughts and jumbled chicken scratch writing. It’s not that often I share this aspect - the five second jot-down or the unfinished thoughts, but being up late, why not now. The first couple of bits were remnant thoughts after wandering around the Chicago Public Library, a maroon brick and copper monstrosity housing more books than I have seen previously, resting quietly below towering buildings and the el-train loop. The thoughts, verbatim:

_______

it is not so much to acquire a book as it is to accept an adventure into the unknown.

these walls fill my heart with knowledge and wonder by my very presence near them. the collected works of one shelf (regardless that there are thousands upon thousand) exceeds my capacity to understand. there is a sudden want to study library sciences and grant writing to support this in every possible way…or to volunteer in a fashion that helps to promote literacy. to think of the collected hours of life that have gone into writing so many tomes, let alone into reading them. there was a quote, by T.S. Elliot on the wall in the main lobby. i found it appropriate -

The very existence of libraries affords the best evidence that we may yet have hope for the future of man.

_______

The streets about the city inspired other good bits as well:

_______

it’s funny,
when we’re walking
down those aimless city streets
we haven’t yet travelled,
sharing secret fears of
brain tumors
gnawing at our romantic
hearts
and the steam, rising from
the sewers
below,
to warm our
traveling feet.
our words fall fast out forward
strange reflections in the dark,
the remnant pages of
broadsides dancing
and our shadowed evening figures
jumping trains of thought.

_______

And, on a less hopeless romantic note, a goofy slip of paper full of quotes, written doodles from an “important” meeting in my not too distant working past:

_______

did i just hear “paradigm” and “synergy” in the same sentence?

screw building bridges, let’s all be little islands bitching about other little islands!

why can’t i get funding for a mouse pad, but i’m sitting in a $600 chair?

never, ever again go to an “important” meeting if no one is willing to explain why it is important.

_______

And thus ended by trip through a pile of scraps. There were also old lists of recommended books and music - we’ll see how those appeal after I grab hold of them to peruse.

Posted by noblehobo at 03:53 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Finally, after many, many days in the bizarre limbo that is McMurdo, I’m back at the South Pole. Back home to the world I know, damn fine food, my projects, my space. McMurdo would have been nice for three days, getting stuck there for nine was, well, excruciating.

Others have captured the moment better than I. Tim, our Power Plant Technician, does a damn fine job at his blog (linked on the left). I’ll update more later.

I spent my night here putting a new hard drive into my computer, banking that it will decrease the flakiness that I’ve seen with the last. The best part, though? This hard drive is finally large enough to store all of my music on it. No more external drive for tunes, I am now much more portable.

Portable so far as it relates to the station I choose to live at. Otherwise it’s a long (800 mile), cold walk elsewhere.

While waiting on glowing progress bars during software installations, I tore through some unsorted piles of paper and old letters from friends. The output? A couple of letters ready to send and some great memory bits from Chicago and business-lessons learned over the past several years.

Posted by noblehobo at 03:51 AM | Permalink | Comments (2)

Some photos of the MCI Drill that we had before Thanksgiving. Descriptions to come shortly.

MCI Photos

Posted by noblehobo at 07:53 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

Some airdrop photos for your perusal.

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